yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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