My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
