Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
