There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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