You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
