do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
