I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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