Redeem this text for a blowjob
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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