You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
