Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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