Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
