stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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