My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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