I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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