There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
