Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
