sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
