just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
