As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
