Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
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He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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