I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
