i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize