I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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