seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
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just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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