Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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