She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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