I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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