So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
