I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
