Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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