yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
