And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
