is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I love how my cats smell like pot.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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