Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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