In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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