Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
