i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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