I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
