; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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