You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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