Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Quick, to the slutcave!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
