I wish you could order shots online.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
