im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
