I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
