idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
