her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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