I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
