Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
