bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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