so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize