Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
operation harelip BJ is a go
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
