found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize