I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
lol hangovers are for mortals.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize