is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
