Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
