My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
MIDGETS
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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