Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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