Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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