Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
