the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
how drunk are you?
Several
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
