You just made me feel so damn special
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
