did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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