Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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