You made me cry and you don't even care
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
