Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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