last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
