ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
