:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You are a genius and a whore.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize