road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
