Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
